Punchline to a Lawyer Joke

I am often the first person to rail on the legal profession—particularly lawyers as individuals. On that note, the law has a bevy of problems that are ever-present and far-reaching. This includes lawyers’ fees, ease-of-access to the profession, and similarly, over-saturation of the profession. Those problems don’t even begin to address lawyer’s personal flaws that regularly make the news.

On a daily basis, CNN bombards audiences with unrest. Israel bombs Hamas, Hamas bombs Israel, rinse and repeat. Civil war erupts in Sudan, Uganda, and Liberia. The constant negativity puts so many people off of international affairs, which is a tragedy in itself. It is, however, the depressing nature of these events that makes our legal system so amazing. When a dispute arises in this country, the most violent response one typically hears is likely the phrase "I’ll see your ass in court." This leads to lawyers, which leads to expensive bills, which leads to resolution as decided by the court. How much cooler is that than "I’ll see your ass through the scope of my high-powered sniper"? I’ll answer my own rhetorical question with a "very."

There have been disputes since Cain offed Abel, and there will continue to be disputes at least through November’s election. It is a well-earned reputation that lawyers have promulgated, but the flaws of the profession seem remarkably superficial when compared to the threat of a fist-fight to resolve a disagreement. I’m sure many clients wouldn’t mind the chance to slug their lawyer at times throughout the course of litigation, but we should all be thankful that this country solves its problems with wars of words instead of just war.